The spring of 2018 I decided to give writing professionally my best shot. The only thing I could imagine getting paid for in the writing realm was managing social media. Thus, I called myself a social media manager.
That was the week I got hired - no experience, no portfolio, just a dream, and a God who works behind the scenes.
Turns out, there truly is something to be said for getting paid to do what you love. So, I decided to make a business out of it. I sent in proposals. Hopped on calls. Spent hours submitting above-and-beyond applications.
All of my applications were met with applause.
Each phone call ended with a verbal commitment to work together.
And every contract I sent was left unsigned.
“Jesus, I believe you gave me this dream and this avenue to make this dream come true. I don’t understand why you’re not letting it fly. I don’t understand why I’m having great meetings and nothing is following through. But I believe this is an idea you gave me, so I’m going to continue to knock on this door until you show me a different one.”
This was new for me.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m disappointed or uncomfortable, I want to launch into fix-it mode or slump into ignore-it mode. This time I chose be-with-it mode.
I can’t say I meant to, it’s more like be-with-it mode chose me. Working harder just didn’t seem like a good answer and watching more hallmark wasn’t gonna make me feel any better about my(single)self, so I settled with asking myself:
What is the best thing I can do RIGHT now?!
And day after day, the only thing I came up with was keep knocking on this door until God reveals something else or opens a different door. Here's some truth that have kept me going:
We’re going to be uncomfortable. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says that God’s strength will be displayed in our weakness. I don’t know about you, but being weak is VERY uncomfortable to me.
Sometimes life is uncomfortable. Psalm 23:4, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” Mmmmm, yep scary, uncomfortable, can I go now?!
God and His promises don’t change in our discomfort. We may not understand. We may forget. We may doubt. Things may turn out differently than our interpretation of the promise. But God’s promises stay the same.
The Israelites were in captivity 70-152 years (there’s some debate on the timeline) before they were able to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the wall (that means some people who received and believed the promise died before the promise was fulfilled). But the wall WAS rebuilt!
So, what should we DO when we’re uncomfortable?!
When we’re uncomfortable we need to focus on the promise. In the midst of their discomfort Paul and Silas praised God. They directed their thoughts and focus from their pain and onto the promises of God. Acts 16:22-25
The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.
I’m having trouble typing the next and last thought, because I’m so over Jesus cliches, so stick with me and read through the next couple paragraphs before you close this tab...
When we’re uncomfortable Jesus is the answer. Romans 8:28, “But we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him.” Psalm 56:3, “When I am afraid I will trust in Him.”
In other words, all the uncomfortable and can-I-go-now moments meet their victory and resolution in Jesus and through what He does. Not what we do.
Even Paul and Silas being released was something only God could have done (common’ an earthquake?!).
Not too long ago I told one of my coaches how even though I have my autoimmune disease under control sometimes I have to remind myself to rest because I can still get tired before others. She immediately responded, “When I have those moments I tell myself I’m relaxed.”
I was like, well that’s weird.
But the next time I was tired before “tired time” I told myself, “I’m relaxed. I’m taking this time to relax.” And in that moment I didn’t feel shame for being tired before everyone else.
Can we all agree to ditch any shame
we’re attaching to our disappointment and discomfort?
It’s okay for me to be tired before everyone else.
It’s okay for me to be uncomfortable.
It’s okay for you to be disappointed.
The question is, now what?
Are we gonna launch into fix-it mode?
Will we slump into ignore-it mode?
Or will we choose be-with-it mode?!
Will we ask ourselves, “What is the best thing I can do in THIS moment?”
not the perfect thing - the best thing
and focus on God’s promises instead of our pain?
This isn’t to say our pain will go away or that we can ignore our pain. Notice, be-with-it mode is not the same as ignore-it mode. “I’m relaxed’ meant I rested (and opted for yoga) instead of working out extra hard.
As a matter of fact, focusing on God’s promises instead of my pain has helped me resolve my pain in healthier ways and brought some of the greatest rewards like my business.
Long story short, I’m not a social media manager, anymore. I’m a copywriter. And I wouldn’t be here today - in my zone of genius, earning the money I’m earning - if all those applications had been excepted and all those people who said they would sign actually did.
In short, disappointment and discomfort often hold appointments and comfort for us especially when allow them to point us back to the promises of God.